


Kings and Queens

by ScooBiNatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Being Castiel, Castiel's "Marriage", Dean being a doof, DeanCas - Freeform, Deastiel, Djinn Queen, Humour?, M/M, Mangosteen - Freeform, Scoobynatural - Freeform, YOU KNOW IT, casdean - Freeform, i'm not sure what else to tag, my first destiel whoo, short fic, this ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-17 06:12:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14182632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScooBiNatural/pseuds/ScooBiNatural
Summary: Dean finds out that Castiel is married to a Djinn Queen, and Castiel is a lot more chill about it than he is.





	Kings and Queens

**Author's Note:**

> Destiel? On _my_ AO3? It's more likely than it seems.

Dean deals with weird all the time. So, hearing that Castiel “married” the queen of the djinn probably shouldn’t be as big a deal as it is.

“You _what?!_ ” He exclaims, and immediately regrets the sheer amount of surprise in his tone.

“I did what I had to, Dean,” Castiel explains calmly, not looking up from the fruits he’s carefully sealing up and storing away for when they’re needed. “There were… many Djinn guarding the tree of Life. We need the fruit. I couldn’t kill _all_ of them. So, I negotiated. The queen liked my strength, and had me fight some of her strongest warriors. There were some complicated rituals involved, and I think I… am technically married to her now. It won’t become an issue. I hope.”

The hunter bites his tongue before he says something he’ll regret and then he takes a deep breath. He needs to keep his head cool. Castiel doesn’t seem to think it’s a big deal, so he should relax too. “I’m not… Cass, I’m not worried about it being an ‘issue’. Marriage is kind of a big deal, is that really who you wanna be married to? Do you want help going and clearing it up or something?”

Castiel narrows his eyes briefly, looking up from the fruit to squint at Dean. “Are you… offering to go to Syria with me, stand before the Djinn Queen, and tell her I’m divorcing her? I do not think that will go well.”

“Yeah…” Dean rubs the back of his neck, backpedalling a bit. “Well, when you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like such a great idea. Just forget it.”

He picks up a fruit to help Castiel preserve their freshness, frowning at the weird, purple plant. He’s seen them before, at various grocers around the US. Mangobean? Something like that. He’s never actually had one before.

“Dean,” Castiel interrupts his thoughts, “you need to put it in the bag and get out all the air, like—”

“I know that, Cass.” Dean rips the Ziploc bag Castiel was holding out for him out of his hand and starts putting the fruit in it like he saw Cass doing. “I was just thinking.”

“About my wife?”

 _“No._ ”

The angel doesn’t argue with him, but the way he raises a brow says he doesn’t believe Dean.

“I _wasn’t,_ ” Dean insists unconvincingly, “and don’t call her your wife, that’s weird.”

“But Dean, _technically—”_

“Yeah, yeah, _technically._ I know. But can you really be married to somebody you don’t even know? What’s her name?”

Castiel is smiling now, the bastard. “Her name is Ontehzaki and her favourite colour is blue.” And now he’s got that quiet, patient smile on his face like he _knows_ something Dean doesn’t. Dean hates that smile. “Dean,” he starts out slowly, setting down the fruit he was about to bag and using his stupid gravelly batman voice again. “What does it matter? She probably has many husbands, she might have already forgotten about me. I have no plans to get married again anytime soon, and it got me the fruit we needed, so, why does it bother you?”

Dean really wishes he had a good answer ready, but he honestly doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal to him. Castiel obviously doesn’t care, so why should he?

He shrugs, looking down at his hands and busying himself with bagging the fruit he was holding. “I guess I just thought because, marriage is a sacrament or whatever, maybe you didn’t wanna waste it on a monster? But if you don’t care, neither do I, buddy.”

The angel nods, accepting his answer. “It’s a non-issue, I assure you.”

 

And they never spoke about it again.

**Author's Note:**

> Late April Fools?
> 
> If any of y'all know me you should know I'll probably never seriously write Destiel. I don't hate the ship, I just have other ones that I think are more in need of content. I may actually give this a legitimate ending later though. I had a fun idea for it that I... kinda lost interest in. It involved Dean offering to pretend to be Castiel's husband so they could tell the Djinn Queen her marriage with Castiel wasn't legitimate because he was already married to someone else. This was going to result in the Djinn Queen demanding that Dean battles her for Castiel's hand, which would end with Dean 'technically' being actually married to Castiel once he beats her.
> 
> Though if I did write that, I was also tempted to have Castiel hear Dean's proposal and go "That's a great Idea! I'll go tell Sam, he'll make a great fake-husband. It's nothing personal, but you are a terrible actor and he is taller and more intimidating." Poor Dean.
> 
> Anyways sorry for the prank. I just kinda lost interest in this. But if I ever get it back I'll definitely come back and give this a proper ending.


End file.
